Good Morning Beautiful People-
Here in Kansas- the Ragweed is high- and this momma is struggling: but here we are up before the sun getting in that workout and writing to my favorite people-my fellow readers of course.
As promised I stated when we started our bedroom budget friendly (hopefully free) make over I would share with you all..
I have begun the first step in listing our bedroom furniture for sale: and negotiated with the husband to have just one dresser but a queen bed (his exact words ‘I love you – but no full bed’). He has not the greatest back (two back surgeries by 36 years old) and they say good sleep is important- so ya ya- I lost that battle- but won the sole dresser war. Compromise they say.
Do we have enough room for two dressers you may be wondering?
Absolutely. However here is the deal: just because you have the room doesn’t mean you should fill every square inch of it. Reading all these minimalism books the last year has shown me how little we need and how much we discover about ourselves in turn when we pare down nonessentials and things we get rid of items that we no longer find useful or ‘sparking joy’.
Francise Jay wrote in the last page of his book ‘ The Joy Of Less- The Minimalist Living Guide’
”When we become minimalists, we strip away all the excess- the brands, the status symbols, the collections, the clutter- to uncover our true selves. We take the time to contemplate who we are, what we find important, and what makes us happy. We emerge from our cocoons of artists, activist, mothers, fathers, spouses, and friends. Most importantly, we redefine ourselves by what we do, how we think, and who we love, rather than what we buy.”
The second step was to go to good ol Pinterest for ‘research’ and here are the two images of my envisioned dreamy simple bedroom.
Big mirror, one dresser, and..
a queen bed I guess. #notbitteroranything
After finishing my latest minimalism book I decided to give my poor house and Craiglist selling account a break and read something that wasn’t about getting rid of things necessarily but getting rid of urges instead.
I was listening to a podcast a couple months back with Russell Brand and Tony Robbins and they spoke on his book he wrote overcoming his addictions (drugs, alcohol, sex, money, love, and fame) and I was truly inspired to read it so much that I bought it. If you know anything about me thus far: know this: I rarely buy books. This frugal lady has rented hundreds of books from the library – and bought maybe 7 books in the last several years.
On the back of the book reads…
“This is the age of addiction, a condition so endemic, so all-encompassing and ubiquitous that unless you are fortunate enough to be an extreme case, you probably don’t know that you have it. What unhealthy habits and attachments are holding your life together? Are you unconsciously dependent on food? Bad relationships? A job that doesn’t fulfill you? Are you numb, consentingly perusing your phone, looking for what? The program in this book has given me freedom from all addictions and it will do the same for you.”
I have been open on my struggles with numbing agents : alcohol, my phone, food, and array of other vices along the way of my journey through life, trauma, motherhood, marriage, and things you endure by simply being a human.
I have become hyper aware of my bullshit and my sabotaging ways- which I think is the first step- and the second would be to identify triggers that sway me to want to reaching for those things I know in my mind and heart aren’t good for me.
The cycle usually goes like this: see if this rings true for you and your ‘drug’ of choice (I believe we all have at least one)
- Using an addictive agent, like alcohol, food, sex, work, social media, dependent relationships to sooth and distract.
- Temporary anesthesia or distraction
- Shame and guilt, leading to pain or low self-esteem.
and off we go again.
My best tactic for my go to vice during hardship, overwhelm, boredom, but even at happy celebratory times -alcohol- was to avoid it. I have gone through large solid periods of my life where I don’t drink but what I realized was when you think of your life as a whole and think I’ll never have a beer again – chocolate again- I’ll never be on Instagram for more than 20 minutes again- it feels very overwhelming and because of this you indulge because it seemed impossible anyway to go a lifetime never having any (booze, caffeine, sex, Pinterest binges, French fries) again : but here is the truth which Russell writes so perfectly:
“You don’t have to not drink for twenty years today. You don’t have to give up white bread for all eternity, right now. This ‘one day at a time’ cliché when taken plainly is no less profound than any ‘be in the moment. Eastern wisdom I’ve since encountered. Today is all I have’
So being that today is all I have. Today I choose to not drink, eat wisely and clean, be mindful when and how often I’m using my phone, and that is enough. After sometime- you will see all your ‘todays’ have been strung together and you’ve endured some hard days and good days all without needing anything to avoid, numb, or help endure whatever life threw at you.
It is my goal to make my people proud.
Here me when I say: It is not my goal to be perfect. I will continue to fail throughout my life – trust me – but then in turn that is how I’ve grown into the person I am today. But my home base: my people- those are the ones I have to answer too- and I want to do it in the best version of myself that I can be.
How do you plan on showing up today?
I hope it is with a good nights rest last night (if not get to bed early tonight sister). I hope it is with high energy (if not try moving your body for 20 minutes during your lunch break). I hope it is will a full heart- that you have made time to talk with friends, pursue something you enjoy, had time to just be, and it is my hope for you – and myself- that we continue to try and work to show up as the best versions of ourselves- and if you find that today you are no where near that person-
Start Today– take one small step- take a zumba class you’ve wanted too who care if you are awkward- don’t buy the crap food anymore that you are hurting your body with- pour out the booze- turn off your phone for a whole day this weekend -if your mind has been cluttered and weary for a while now – get a journal or go to therapy sister- delete the amazon app off your phone and instead use the money you will be saving to travel some place that feeds your soul- we’ve got this together- one step at a time- all we have it today- Let’s make it great!
That’s all until next time